Voices within

 

Sound or cacophony a perception I understand not

The sound of the moving train, a rhythmic beat to the ear

Though some may call it noise, I hear the sweet sound of metal on metal

An inconspicuous reminder of each day and it moods

 

I hear voices too, voices that I know not who speaketh

It says to me meekly what to do and what not to

A voice that speaks my heart, and sometimes contradicts my path

I know but true that each is gifted with one

 

As the wind whistles through, and rustles the leaves

Its call daunting, calling, provoking

But the voice within roots me, pulling me back though I want to fly

It makes real that I haven’t the slightest skills to fly.

 

Chatters all around, voices overpowering, sounds unyielding

Lets not the mind find its peace, makes it wander with the currents at work

Sounds pierce like bullets, as my eardrums seek to defend themselves

Shattering the calm my edifice would like to retain

 

It pains me to keep at bay, friends and foes alike

Why must they feign ignorance, know not they a need for calm.

Why must they tug at flimsy strings of patience?

Broken they bring but unwanted acts, a fury unleashed

 

No difference do I see in the wild and me, had not the voice spoken

The voice holds firm my belief, we are humans gifted with choice

Choices to destroy or forgive, the power within our reach

Voices say I must not indulge, violence but a cowardly act.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Facade

Morning dawns and I wake and slip out of bed,

Needless I feel the need to think about the people today

The mirror speaks volumes to me , it rebukes me so to say

I trudge back to my bed, ready to go back to rest

As I leave I forget something, I realise I have left something vital

Something I dare not forget, a shield to protect me through this day

Having worn it I step out, it’s a snug fit thought not comfortable

Mirror oh mirror I ask, does mine seem to fool the naive

Faces speak volumes though a genius would not understand

A pout, a smile an unknown smirk, as the day wears on

Some sag some joyous as the sun sets on yet another day

They speak of what they are and what they want to be

Hide they must under the veil of secrecy, a thick façade

They see contorted faces within, as their mirrors rebuke

They must go about their chores, lest someone notice a kink

Each façade being a means to an end, to achieve, to hurt, to hide

What do I lose I ask, when we remove this mask so to say

Is it dignity, oh not so because dignity ones pride he needn’t hide

Is it shame, though maybe a reason to hide a lost battle

Is it a weakness, surely I feel, to conceal what we cant be

What profit a man bestow upon himself, if he hideth his weakness

He lives a life wasted in the endeavour, lest someone notice a kink

What happiness does he receive, as he reveals not himself but an imposter

Living off false praise, he knows not what he has won nor lost

When evening is nigh, I long to remove my façade

A long respite from discomfort, to see my true self

I pray to my God for the power to throw away my façade each night

Though am left weak in front of my mirror, each morn at the sun rise.

Faces of time

Faces we meet each day, a world we know not without them

Intriguing , scary, wondering and the likes

They walk past along streets, some walk along into and out of lives

Faces we see mirrors in some, its a face that begins a life

Each face has a reason to be, a reason to turn a leaf in the pages of life

Faces of the present past and the future

Long have we forgotten some faces, hidden within our pasts

They have been buried in the sands of time, immortal in us

Conniving faces in abundance are present

Seeking to draw from our well of plenty

Leave they must, quenched from their thirst

To seek another face, whose shine snatch they must

Some faces depart not in adversity or pain

They are our guiding light in the dark

Sometimes they walk beside, most others they carry us

Trudging with us though they can run, strong in their resolve to be with us.

Faces hold hands to take us through what we must learn

Drag an unwilling us, through the fires of trial

Running away, no solution to a problem

We must but learn to face the faces of reality

Lonely Planet

A rose may bloom on a thorny bush

An example of beauty in disparity

Though but fragrant, beautiful and loud

It stands lonely as a distant dream for some

We came naked and unfettered

We live bound and restrained

We want to be free though we cant

Lonely though we are alone we become

Long has man reached peaks unfathomed

He sees beauty and lands distant from there

The world astride the stars within reach

We for got that atop pinnacles is life but lonely

We need no less than stars, we want the heavens

Ornaments of gold and wares of sliver

Done we but realize the pitfalls of riches

The walls become higher the measures stricter

A poor man once whispered, a meal though he lived for

He said he had nor gold or silver nor ambitions colossal

What he said at the end that mattered the most

“I live to live unbound and free; I have but a savior who looketh after me”

Fear

Day in day out there is this lurking shadow I see

Its mine though I feel its someone I know not

Weeks on end I feel it feeding on me

Its as though I feed the air

Created though out of our own imagination

A figment that make the greatest fall to pieces, and the smallest capitalize

We love to keep it as a friend, though they eat us from within

There behind people, there behind structures demons overwhelming

Unknown are the people we meet in life, befriend we must fearful or not

People make fear a part of their existence, a reason to avoid the unknown

Fear they give to others, delegating their insecurities

Those daunting shapes, those unknown faces

Loath I must those that have not tasted defeat

Detest those that have not tried enough I will

What but fear can they share, only a soul untested

They live in cocoons safe in their shells of gold rested

I adore those that drive out the fears in me

They that fear not to show me what I do not see

Are not they that make us worthy sculptures

Adorned in the world, leading a hoard of worshipers

Must children teach to fear not the unknown

Must they leap, fall and rise again for us to learn

They can but not be left to fear, unless we keep them strong

Must we not stand by them as they go along

We travel far and wide, we move in droves

Must we be with our own always, must we quell fear with our own

Our own betray us when in need we must learn, distributing fear to keep us nigh

It is those we befriend who come to our rescue, those that want nothing in return

Leap we must if we have to test life, no adventure too great

Leap we must into the unknown, proud of an existence lived not in vain

Life makes us step into the lap of uncertainty time and again

Change must we embrace, a new page changed

child

I see her as she walks about

I see her quite and feeble,

Innocence tough she may show

There is an air of maturity I see

That tug, that pull, a naughty yank

She reminds me of a lost time

Ignorance is bliss they say, but she knows what she wants

She reminds me that we all have one of her in all of us

The look of wonder in her eyes I see

The look that questions the strokes of my pen

She wants to decipher but can’t see through the scribbles

She knows deep down that she is my sculpture

They play in courtyards, they play to hearts content,They show no care of the world

We see ourselves in them, a chance to be young  again

They learn from us, though they teach us much more

We know that they are here to make us, and not we for them

The mind drifts by, childhood a passing glance

Those times have made a mark, the days are a blur

It seems we show the air of wisdom, adults we become

We fail to realize, be become just large images of childhood

Thoughts

Happy to know I am thought of, happy to know I exist

Distant are we but a thought unites, memories become thought in a far far land

Sad I fell for those lonely; sad to know none know them

For they know not what it is to be embraced in someones bosom

A thought has the power to make a life, and a thought is enough to break a life

Riots are but a manifestation of a thought in distort

Healing sought is another thought by a life in discord

Choices are a step, towards a life better or worse

Times have changed, distances have grown

We are but a thought in someone’s mind

We are but a manifestation, in eyes wide shut

Locked in someone’s mind, is a thought wasted

Cherished are those deemed thoughtful

It worries me sometimes to feel nothing, it pains me to see thought wasting

Open minds we need. To make the change we seek

bid farewell…

The day has come, the moment has arrived

The time is right , there can be no other

It is a day I dreaded, it is a day I loathed

A moment of truth, memories behold

Some bid adieu, not knowing when

Some say farewell though with strings attached

Some others say goodbye though they know not why

We say good bye because destiny has another cry

Goodbye I say to you with a heavy heart, goodbye no words I part

I see what you can’t, I hear what you wont

The call to let go, a call to make amends

A reason to move on, a distant beckoning

Hopes are crashed I know, Promises are broken I know

Promises untold, commitments unseen

At the crossroads we stand, looking our separate ways

Pulled by opportunity, torn by fate

Time and again fires of change envelope existence

Some perish in those fires some turn to gold

Know not the future, know not the challenges

Know not a middle path, if life had on

I know there is a tomorrow, a brighter tomorrow

Where the storms are calm and the fires don’t rage

A time of peace, a time of reconciliation

A time in the future, where we shall meet

standard deviation theory

The proximity of a person to another individual depends upon many factors. One of the many factors is standard deviation as we would prefer to call it. Well let me explain what standard deviation is.  In  scientific parlance standard deviation is known as the deviation of data points from the average value. But as i see it there is a standard deviation that is silently working in our lives, making living  and interacting with individuals constitute  a set of data points which on deviation from a set mean value would mean chaos. Let me explain!!

There is an equilibrium surrounding  an individual depending on whether he obeys the rules of engagement. The rules dictate that certain actions or inactions could get him in trouble and they would be taboo to any individual in a society(meaning a microcosm). These rules have been made by an ever changing society which dictates what we wear to what we must eat.  Any obvious deviations from following these universally acceptable norms would lead to chaos in the life of the individual. Society is happy with just terming the individual as the culprit and moving on. In the Indian psyche this would mean forgetting the past and moving on, as has happened in many instances of terror thrown at us.

Man has always been living in the extremes whether for survival or just for the fun of it.  There  are socially acceptable outlets like bungee jumping and other activities which would scare some out of their wits. But those who love living on the edge the mean lies  at a different level.  There is another quite unacceptable extreme that an individual is faced since the inception of creation. A recent article on Shiney Ahuja in the Times  makes us aware of the stark  nature of this extreme nature of it as has been termed called by the news paper.

Lets call the rules set out by society for the existence of the individual as the Mean or average . While as i mentioned in a scientific experiment there has to be a standard deviation to any mean which is acceptable to statistical thought, there has to be a level of acceptance or standard deviation that society can accept .   It would mean that if a person has an acceptable standard deviation form this mean then society will not consider him an outcast. But suppose he does cross these acceptable limits of standard deviation there will obviously be a justification to be given for the same. Interestingly research gives  a person the opportunity to repeat the experiment until an acceptable standard deviation is achieved, a second chance so to say. But in society that second chance  has a bearing on ones relationships, time and other factors that may or may not be in control of the individual, quite frankly a standard deviation begins to set in.

For example a professional relationship is defined by how the individual is accepted in a certain environment, or more so what he brings via his interpersonal skills to that environment. It depends on how he work, how quick he/she learns from mistakes, and how confident he/she is.  Thus it would be safe to say that the acceptable mean or the basal equilibrium is defined by that particular environment. The acceptable standard deviation is to a large extent decided by the Boss, his interactions with the individuals in the team, so to say the standard deviation is set by the boss. Preferential behaviour towards a particular individual in that microcosm by the leader changes the equations. Bias is another aspect which is a factor in the deviation theory which to a large extent sets the mean for each individual. Human nature is unbiasedly biased, so the means as i mentioned keep changing with respect to different individuals in that area.  A constant mean within a group would mean an unbiased environment, but that seldom happens.

To sum it all up the sum total of what we do decides the standard deviation.

Will to change…

Its been weeks since I have written, the flow seems at an ebb

Its been a while since I have spoken, the words don’t seem to come

Its been some time since I have felt, sence of touch is hardened I guess

Its been a long time since

Life has a way of breaking the monotony

Life has a way of waxing and waning

Its not life that I blame for the ebb

Its just that I have lost and learned to hold on no more

The choices were made long before I was even introduced to them

I ignored them, I even thought I would circumvent them

Apologies are in order, a sorry would do some good I feel

But for the diatance , but for the choices we have no control over

I have found what I was looking for, I have lived a life time it seems

None to blame but my self for the mistakes, none but me to applaud for the achievements

Some would say it’s the nature of lady luck, others applaud the talent

All I have to add is that I have always had an angel to watch over me

Yet incomplete I feel, shouting among a hoard of strangers

Wanting for them to listen, to hear those words unsaid

Listening to myself I am astounded at the noise within

Louder than the loudest explosion, deafening me slowly

Each day we hear sounds, each day noise surrounds us

Do we care to listen, do we care to pay heed

Numerous are the cries of people in torment, numerous are the people in pain

We walk along, we ignore, we cross the street or we change our path

Doubtful is it that we want to change, unsettled are we in what we do

The world seems on the brink, yet leaders want to flaunt their power

Meetings and conferences change nothing, but will the will to change

Have we chosen the right people, can they make the difference